


Here's to Johnny

by violet_quill



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Inspired by Real Events, Johnny Carson, Tribute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-24
Updated: 2010-11-24
Packaged: 2017-10-13 08:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/135382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violet_quill/pseuds/violet_quill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley finds out why his friend has been spending so much time at home lately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here's to Johnny

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2005 shortly after Johnny Carson's death.
> 
> This is not meant as irreverent, but rather as a tribute. The only people to whom I may owe apologies for this are Tom Arnold and Jerry Springer, so if you're offended on their behalf feel free not to read. In loving memory of Johnny Carson, one of the funniest men to ever hit TV.

There was something very strange about Aziraphale lately, Crowley decided. It took three quarters of the way through a game of chess on a Sunday afternoon for him to figure it out, however, and by that time, Aziraphale was doing neither of the strange things.

The first thing he'd been doing was being _not there_. Crowley generally stopped by the bookshop in the evenings, and there had been a very concise "CLOSED" sign anchoring the door for several days in a row. He started arriving earlier and earlier, and still Aziraphale was nowhere in sight. For going on two weeks now, they'd only met at their weekly engagement. Last week, othello, this week, chess.

The other strange thing - and Crowley couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it earlier - was that Aziraphale had started _whistling_. Not just idle whistling, either, but that same damned tune over and over, and it wasn't even anything particularly _good_ , just annoying and catchy. And by the time Crowley's knight took his remaining bishop, Aziraphale was at it again.

"THAT'S IT!" Crowley thundered, glaring at his opponent across the picnic table. "Stop with the whistling, now. And while you're at it, why don't you tell me where in Go- where you've been running off to in the evenings lately?"

Aziraphale looked a little uncomfortable; he crossed his ankles, revealing gray argyle socks. "I've just been popping home."

"Home?" Crowley raised an eyebrow at him. "Home as in - " He lifted his eyes skyward.

"Yes. That home."

"Why would you want to do _that_? You're always telling me how boring it is up there!"

Aziraphale sniffed through his upturned nose. "We've recently acquired some better entertainment. It's new, and so I've been making a point to attend."

"New entertainment? What on earth could _you_ \- " And then, Crowley dropped off suddenly, his eyes widening in disbelief. "You didn't."

Aziraphale smiled smugly. "We did."

"No fucking way."

"You know I don't care for vulgar language, Crowley."

Crowley ignored him. "I can't believe it. You've got _Johnny Carson_." He shook his head in disbelief. "No wonder The Big Guy's been acting so cranky lately. There hasn't been a good talk show host kick it in ages, and he ends up with _you people_? Sheesh."

"Well, now maybe you'll reconsider your stance about how boring we are. Maybe it's starting a trend."

"I hear Tom Arnold has heart trouble," Crowley mumbled, and heard Aziraphale snort. "Okay, fine. You've got me. And he's really doing The Tonight Show up there?"

"Indeed. Last night he had on John Lennon and Jane Austen."

"I still say you're not going to end up with all the Beatles."

"I disagree. I've been keeping a close eye on them lately."

"No cheating!"

"Hey, _you're_ the one who kept trying to tempt them with sins of the flesh."

Crowley scowled. "Okay, back to Johnny. Has everyone been going?"

"Oh, yes. In fact, he's having Saint Peter on the show next week."

Crowley snorted. "I never did like him."

"That's just because he has prettier hair than you. Besides, he was the one to greet him at the gates last week. Imagine Peter's delight when up he popped, with a happy grin and announcement of - heeeeere's Johnny!"

Another scowl.

Aziraphale patted his hand reassuringly. "Mother Theresa and Buddy Holly are slated for tomorrow night - want me to get some autographs?"

"Shut up, Aziraphale."

The angel shrugged, but he looked satisfied with himself.

Crowley sighed. "This is so not fair."

"Well, look on the bright side." Aziraphale smiled. "You probably won't have to wait too long for Jerry Springer, right?"

Somehow, that didn't help.


End file.
